random and rare, pt 1?

some random thoughts in a rare free moment...

breastfeeding my daughter
apologies for poem like
no caps
version

she takes breaks
to look up at me and smile
no feeling like it in the world

this will probably serve
as a table of contents
for future entries

i want to tell you about
being pregnant
and the mind-body disconnect

being in labour
and the torture
of the first stage
my arrogance and complacency

being in labour
and the utter empowerment
of the second stage
22 minutes

the conspiracy of silence
it must be
of the early days
of motherhood

of exhaustion of a new order
even given cfs/me
yet
the unbelievable resilience
of each new day

not believing it's possible
that i have a daughter
and
there is a black first family

must be some kind of alternate universe

Comments

[harriet]

good to hear from you, hang in there, it's get's easier all the way :-)

Harriet

[Janice]

Heather, thank you for your post. I found it very moving to read. There is a contradiction in those early days that is apparent in what Harriet said (which I agree with wholeheartedly) and what I want to say, which is to stay in the moment and enjoy.

I really, really miss those early days, but if I think back to how I felt at the time I can't say that I found it much fun!