unschooling, pt 1

[Am assuming I'll be revisiting this several times, not least after I've read some more books, but also once NOT schooling becomes a real issue/choice... as the baby is a 20-week old fetus, we have some years to wait for that!]

Here are our 'gut instinct' reasons for not wanting to send our child to a school (and to go for unschooling rather than homeschooling, even):

• We believe that a child's true nature is to be free, have freedom, and not to be tied to a schedule, a seat, a classroom, a building – especially when there is so much outside to learn and explore. Especially through to age seven. Why should a child have to sit still and be quiet? It's a joy to be a child with all that energy, wonder, curiosity!
• We recognize the distinction between child-centered and child-led education (living, even). This is controversial and there are differences in definitions. But we think that making the child the center of the universe, in the sense that activities are created specifically for children, takes away from the natural order of things. If a child is exposed to lots of adults and their interests and activities, the child will become interested in certain ones and want to learn more about them. Of course, this assumes all the adults around aren't just sat at their computers! It requires attention to variety and exposure to many places and opportunities. (Granted, this isn't possible for lots of parents to offer, but, at this time, it is possible for us.) In the early years of a child's development, this would result in mimicry and play. As the child gets older, this would lead to learning from people and books and writing about things, discussing things, being creative, etc.

• Due to the above, we don't plan to expose our child to TV until they are much older (older than seven, hopefully), or even computers. So why put our child through the peer pressure at school of not having the latest toy, not knowing who such-and-such a character off telly is, not having a video game console, not understanding popular culture? Don't get us wrong: we do believe popular culture has its place. (You'll easily catch us watching "Doctor Who"!) But, again, this is for an older child.
• So what about after age seven? Well, obviously we'll revisit everything all the time, and it's still early days, but given what we know about our local schools (which are excellent by societal standards and parents move here to get their children into these schools), we worry about the peer pressure of consumerism. Our child won't be off on overseas holidays, won't have the latest gadgets, won't watch a lot of telly, if any. We have a friend locally with a nearly 15-year old daughter and she said she could never put her through having to face peers without being "into" the popular culture. She chose to go against her values and allow her daughter to be like the rest of the girls. (Who generally think they need "stuff" to be happy.) She is a single mum and felt there weren't enough like-minded parents and children around to support alternative choices. We don't want a conformist child, though. We want our child to feel strong and independent enough to check out stuff and then decide whether it's worth their time and energy to pursue them further. We don't want peer pressure to decide that.
• So, yes, we will make an effort to find those like-minded parents and children; we certainly don't believe in isolating a child from other children! We know Bristol has plenty, but hopefully we'll discover some more even closer to home. By then, of course, we may not even live in this area, so who knows how it will pan out, but a community of people that share our philosophy will be essential.
• We realize there are some alternative schools that lean toward our philosophy, and this is an option, but only if happen to have some money by then! But still, I wouldn't jump into something that was alternative without really making sure it was right for us, and right for the child given age, interests, "personality"...

And there you have it. It'll be interesting to see how this changes over the years... :)

Comments

[Janice]

A very interesting post, we have found ourselves tackling the same problems with our 5 and 1 year old children. We are lucky in Canada that children don't start Kindergarten until 5, and they only attend for a couple of hours a day in the first year. We made the decision to send our children out into the world and try to equip them with the strength and knowledge to make ethical choices regarding consumerism and the environment (and the way they treat others etc.). Its not perfect, but we see the conflicts that arise as an opportunity for learning and growth.

You mention wanting your child to be strong and independent enough to make good choices and not give in to peer pressure. I wonder how this will happen if you protect her/him from the mainstream? I do hope you find the balance that suits your family though. These decisions are never straight forward! I am interested to hear how you work through this within your community.

[heather]

Hi Janice. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We just believe there is a vulnerable age where children would be more susceptible to the messages. I think we don't plan to protect her/him from the mainstream, so much as make sure the mainstream is not the main message! (Hard to do in schools, given the amount of time they are in schools...)

And I do believe community will be key, so that will be very important to us.

Schools are doing a grave disservice not to equip students for the realities of our changing world... They're getting set up for some serious depression and angst... :(

I'm sure a few hours a day for your children couldn't be harmful, though! :)

Yes, good luck to all of us!

[Janice]

Hi Heather,

I agree, the mainstream should not be the main message! And it is hard with children spending so much time at school. I read Born to Buy by Juliet Schor which frightened the life out of me! Thankfully we have good schools here in our neighborhood, and as I mentioned, they don't spend full days at school until age 6. I think the UK norm for school to start at 4 is far too much too soon. I have no idea what our approach would have been back there.

I look forward to reading more as you work through this issue :)